How Did I Get Away With Saying THAT To A Client?

Sometimes when I reflect on a therapy session, the things I’ve said to clients seem pretty outrageous, but of course I’m only doing it to get across an idea or new perspective.

I thought it would make an interesting discussion point so I made a short video on it.

See what you think – do I go too far? ;)

Video transcript:

The other day a guy came to see me. He is 52 years old, holds down a corporate position and earns so much money he plans to retire in a couple of years. At one time I could never have imagined telling a man of such status and intelligence a children’s story… especially the first time I met him, but not half an hour into him coming to see me I was telling this guy the story of the Three Billy Goats Gruff.

And what’s more he loved it and it helped him become more assertive at work. How did I get away with telling another middle aged guy a children’s story? I’ll get to that in a second.

Another time I suggested to a smoker who happened to have a property rental business that his cigarettes were terrible tenants. Not only was nicotine living rent free in his property but it was trashing the place from the inside, soiling it and rotting it, threatening to destroy the whole building. And to make matters worse HE was paying these squatters for the privilege of having them wreck his body. Now that was a weird thing to say to someone.

Another time I suggested to a woman with a chronic anger problem that the anger was a 5 year old spoiled brat that she needed to discipline and get into line. I talked to her about how she was going to finally start standing up to that brat, to set limits on it…to get it in order.

None of these people batted an eyelid when I spoke to them in this way. Why? Because their eyes were closed, they were in hypnotic trance.

Imagine if the 52 year old highly successful guy had turned up and I had immediately started telling him a children’s story or as soon as the smoker landlord guy came in I had told him his smoking was a bad tenant who had taken up squatters rights within him and had started taking him for a ride, or I had told the woman with terrible anger issues that her anger was a spoiled brat that needed disciplining.

You’d think they’d be quite within their rights to demand their money back and march out of my office! And yet…..and yet when people are hypnotised you can communicate with them in ways that go around the usual limitations and restrictions of the conscious mind. When someone is entranced you can tell them what they need to hear, however strange that might be in normal conversation and they will listen and learn.

Actually when you know how to use hypnotic language fluently then people will be hypnotised whether they have their eyes closed on not. You can be hypnotic conversationally with no obvious hypnotic induction having taken place. For example the smoker guy – who incidentally said he could never smoke again after the re-frame of the nicotine being a terrible business deal – had his eyes open when I told him that, but he was certainly hypnotised.

As anyone with any knowledge of therapeutic hypnosis will tell you, hypnosis can be done conversationally and without the awareness of the client even knowing they’ve entered hypnosis. The unconscious mind processes reality differently from the conscious mind which is why when you use hypnosis you can tell a middle aged man a child’s story that will change his life.

And what you get away with when you do this is a client who improves despite the restrictions, inflexibilities and limitations of their conscious mind.

Hypnosis is still sometimes seen as something ‘fringe’, even among therapists, as if hypnosis is something only hypnotherapists do. But hypnosis happens in all therapy, the only difference is whether the therapist knows how to make the most of it or not.